Undone by my Day Off!

Work has been the epicentre of my life for some weeks now.  I have been eating, sleeping and breathing project plans and mammoth spreadsheets.  And this has been fine.  It’s what I do and I do it best under pressure.  I did take one day out to attend the wedding of a dear friend, someone I lived with for four years while at University and that was a fabulous day.  She looked amazing, the wedding party looked beautiful, the venue was stunning and the groom looked happy and oddly, much more relaxed than he had at the wedding of my other Uni flatmate last November where he had been performing best man duties. 

    

So, it’s been a busy month and the flat, this blog, my friends and poor MC have been sadly sadly neglected.  However, project crunch time landed over the weekend and things are now OK bar the expected teething problems.  After so many twelve hour days in the run up to completion date my back was definitely feeling the strain on Monday so I decided to take a much needed day off away from the desk yesterday.  

The flat is a little pongy at the moment because MC had spent the weekend glossing in the nursery so yesterday I headed off out and about early doors.  Really enjoyed a swim though I have to say, one tires quickly at 7 months pregnant!  This isn’t helped by not being able to take in huge gulps of oxygen with the baby taking up some space up under my ribcage.  It never ceases to amaze me though how normal I feel in the water: when I say normal I of course mean ‘non-pregnant heifer’.  It really hit me when I tried after only 45 minutes to haul my now 12 stone carcass out of the water, up some creaky stainless steel steps, just how heavy I’ve been feeling lately.  Every step up that ladder was like a bag of cement being heaped back on my knees and shoulders.  I suspect I may be spending much of my time from here on in a swimming pool!  

The rest of my day was spent shopping, bussing it round Edinburgh, dropping off my little brother’s birthday card (with cakes), visiting a friend and her baby boy (who has just got to that super cute stage where they want to join in the conversation as they explore their voice box), eating cake and making chilli nachos (which in my humble opinion were very good, though as MC pointed out, perhaps not as stupendous as those served in The Waiting Room in Morningside where they do drown the whole plate in melted cheddar).  It was a fantastic day and I fell into bed happily exhausted at about 10 o’clock, sucking down some Rennies for the heartburn which is now making a daily appearance in my world from late afternoon onwards.  

Other new symptoms since I last posted… did I mention the heartburn?  First time it happened I had no idea what the hell was wrong with me.  I’ve never had it before in my life.  Felt like I’d expect my throat and oesophagus to feel after spending a week with winter vomiting virus.  (Too much information I hear you cry – moving swiftly on.)  My hands and fingers have started to swell towards the end of the day.  I’ve had to take my wedding ring off because the other day I had to pry it off only to find it had cut red marks into my finger.  

The strangest new development though has to be Braxton Hicks.  I first noticed them at the end of last week.  In all honesty, I can’t say exactly when they started because they don’t hurt and I only really noticed them over the weekend if it was happening and I tried to stand up or move around at the time.  If you imagine you have a large piece of tubigrip round your middle and that someone is pulling it tighter than it’s meant to go.  It’s a little uncomfortable but I did some reading and it’s all normal and healthy for your body to start practicing.  Some people notice their belly hardening up on and off from 12 weeks.  

When I got up this morning after my adventures yesterday I was a little uncomfortable down my right side and I put it down to round ligament pain, which isn’t really anything new, though it’s not bothered me much through the endless hours of being sat still at my desk.  However, bout twenty past 7 the Hicks thing kicked in and I felt like the right side of my belly was going to split in two in a straight line from my rib to my hip bone.  I called the people in the know for some advice and was told to pretty much sit still, take paracetamol and call them immediately if I noticed any signs of early labour or regularity in the contractions.  

So, here I am, catching up on correspondence with the world (and trying to stay in touch with work but I have to say my baby netbook hates outlook express and is very uncooperative).  The flat could really do with a clean and there’s ironing needs done but I’m to sit here and be good.  It’s not easy.  I wish MC had made good on his threat to take the iron to work with him today because I swear to the man upstairs the damn thing is calling my name!  My boss called me back to say that at least I had good timing in starting to fall apart as the worst of the project is over but I have to say the timing is indeed very very bad.  MC talked me into cancelling our Virgin TV package from 12^th May – I can’t even watch daytime TV.  I’m going to have to bite the bullet and learn how to work LoveFilm on demand.  Perhaps I may make a start on baby curtains for the nursery, I can do that sat down if I can just fudge the crawling around the floor bit with the measuring tape. 

What can I say, I’m rubbish at doing nada.  I’d say if you’re in the neighbourhood come visit me, but that might just distress me because the dusting needs done.  I wonder if anyone has ever written a book on how pregnancy impacts OCD?  

Anyway, to all the people who told me I was working too much and that the stress wouldn’t be good for me or munchkin, I can now say definitively, it was the day off that did me in!        

Spring Today Gone Tomorrow

It has been a while since my last outpouring of bonkerdom.  Fuelled by cookies and decaffeinated tea here's a brief update. 

We had a week of beautiful blissful sunshine.  It was followed by a week of snow, frost and the cold kind of wind that gives you a freshly slapped look and chapped lips.  It was decidedly glorious and the Scots descended upon the green belts with ghost white nobbly knees in their hundreds.  Within twenty four hours of the last whiffs of barbecued sausages fading from consciousness the temperature plummeted some twenty degrees.  I discovered that after only a week of not wearing my winter coat that I could no longer get the bottom buttons done up.  I'm ready for it to be summer.  I bought tulips and belly friendly shorts (which had to go back to the shop because they didn't fit my expanding bum) and everything.

Oh well, it was nice while it lasted (which was about as long as the tulips did).  That was probably it for the Scottish Summer.  It was a blink and you've missed it kind of affair. 

We're now at 14 weeks to go and there's no missing this belly now.

When munchkin has her party time in the evening my whole belly rocks out with her.  It's very bizarre: a bit like something out of Aliens if I'm honest.  It's still the weirdest sensation and it's very distracting when there's a massive burst of movement from her during the working day. 

I hate to say it but work is largely the reason for my lack of posting recently.  This week was supposed to be MC and I's last weeks' holiday together before munchkin is due but instead I'm going on a training course for a couple of days to help facilitate the speedy resolution of the current project.  MC is going to work on the nursery while I'm away as he's not keen on my being present for the paint fumes anyway.  I'll be back home in time for a long weekend with him before going all out for the next 8 weeks or so at work.  The one positive is that, all going well and to schedule, I should be able to start taking a step back from work from the beginning of June.  Indeed, with extra holidays and overtime I may even be able to finish up a bit earlier than I'd originally planned.  Watch this space.

For now I'm sticking to my guns with plans to work up to week 38 but I have to admit my confidence is shaky skates on thin ice.  We got news last weekend that MC's cousin and partner just had their second baby very early.  Out of four couples we know who have had babies in the last year, three have gone more than three weeks early.  I'm a little afraid of being massively unprepared should munchkin decide to grace us with her presence early.  On the one hand I'm happy to be busy at work because the days pass quickly, I sleep like the dead, and I don't get much chance to lament the aches and pains, but there's this part of my brain that's rightly concerned that all the extra effort required to keep my head above water at work may make me miss something vitally important that needs done at home.  On that note it's time to start making some To Do lists outside of the office. 

So, this week my extra workcular jobs include writing the birth intentions down and to find something suitable to wear to my friend's wedding next month.  I was thinking something like this might be appropriate...

Don't judge, there's a greater choice of two man tents available (in nicer colours and at better prices) than there are wedding appropriate maternity dresses.  Besides, with the Scottish Summer been and gone, it may be the tent's only outing this year.

Massive Fail

All those who know me, know that I have been somewhat under the weather for the last week.  I cannot keep working on the assumption that everyone reading my blog knows me personally though as I am pretty sure I do not know anyone in Latvia, nor can I count amongst my friendships the twenty or so Russians and dozens of Americans that have been reading my nutty musings.  Lets just hope no one is using it for English translation practice!

Where was I?  Oh, yes.  Being ill.  Now I am a rubbish patient.  I just don't have any patience with feeling keek, day time TV or Lemsip - YUCK!  This time is no exception.  I have a spot of bronchitis and although I don't consider myself asthmatic, or carry my inhaler around with me the way I probably should, any sort of chest infection leaves me wheezing and puffing away on the blue stuff.  Nasty ass stuff, it gives me the shakes.  So, I've been off work two days so far this week.  I had to cancel plans to see my oldest friend and her babes on Saturday.  I had to bump a friend I haven't seen in months who I was really looking forward to catching up with on Tuesday.  I didn't make it to the pre-paid bendy stretchy class I was hoping to try out or aquanatal.  I even cancelled my teeth scraping appointment at the dentist (OK, perhaps I'm not too sad about that one).  Today... well, today was my most massive fail of the week so far.

I was pretty bored yesterday in between fetal-position-inducing coughing fits.  The highlight of my day was my cheesy beans on toast.  I grilled the cheese over the top and everything.  I really wanted to go back to work today.  I have a pile of work that I'd planned to get through this week and tonight MC and I had plans to go to Vittoria on the bridges for date night.  It's the same restaurant we had our wedding meal at and my favourite eatery for Italian nosh (I have a favourite for every international cuisine across Edinburgh).  And they were offering 50% off all bills before the 26th Jan.  So, this morning I got up and I felt rough and sleepy but show me the pregnant person who does want to part company with the duvet of a cold winter morning.  I didn't feel too horrible though.  MC asked how I felt and I had to tell him I honestly didn't know.  The coughing is weird in the morning.  It starts off dry and tends to get worse throughout the day.  I got dressed much to MC's disbelief and went to work.  Well, I got on the bus. 

Getting to the bus stop made my chest seize up pretty bad and I felt distinctly icky on the ride to work.  I got off the bus in George Street and had only walked a block before I sounded like the drowning emphysemic chain smoking ball of infection I'd been on the same trip to work on Monday.  The inhaler, which had been my saving grace on arrival at the office on Monday, was very helpfully lying on my bedside table.  I crossed the road and got on a bus coming home.  I called my boss.  I explained my stupidity and that despite doing the hard part and getting within 50 feet of the office I would not actually be coming in today.  She was really very understanding and hadn't actually thought that I'd be much better after only 2 days of antibiotics.  Now as if this wasn't enough ridiculousness for a Thursday morning, I then did the unimaginable.  I bubbbled on the bus most of the way home.

Other pregnant people had forewarned me about unforeseen bouts of outpouring, uncontrollable emotion but so far, I had not experienced any such public humiliation.  Today though, my frustration took me way over the edge.  I tried to rationalise why I felt the way I did and it boiled down to two things.  Firstly, I have no patience for being unwell.  We covered that already.  Secondly though, I think I have a horror of being the unreliable pregnant person in the office.  I like my job.  I like that I'm responsible for my own little corner of grind and that for the most part, I'm left alone to get stuff done.  It seriously irks me that since I got pregnant there hasn't been a single week where I've felt like I was functioning on all cylinders and being my dependable self.  Work completely aside, I like to be able to depend on me in general - on my health, my ability to get out of bed in a timely fashion in the mornings and to go about my business.

It seems as though I might have to get a little less fiercely independent.  I might have to lie down when I'm told to.  I might have to get used to the fact that pregnant me is little more fragile and a little less dependable than my old self.  In plain terms, she's a bit of a woose-arsed sickly numpty.  I don't like it.  That's what got me on the bus this morning and that's what caused this whole stupid mess.  My pigheaded refusal to stay in bed bored (sorry, 'resting') but warm.

Rant over.  I saw the sunrise this morning.  It damn near fried my eyeballs as with any winter sun encounter in Scotland.  It was nice.  I might not be able to go to work today, or tomorrow, but I saw the sun.  It's a rare beast in January, what with the going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark.  It's still hanging around up there in a cold blue sky.  Does it make up in any way for almost getting to work and having a melt down on public transport?

Perhaps, but it doesn't take the edge off missing a trip to Vittoria's.